Hello everyone!

Sorry that I haven’t posted for so long!  First I was away for the weekend and then I’ve been crazy busy with school.  I haven’t been reading a whole terrible lot so I have not finished Beautiful Creatures yet.

I figured I would tell you all a bit about myself since I haven’t finished the book yet.  I live on a farm with my parents and I love that so much!  All of my family lives really close together so we’re pretty close.  In December, my grandma lost her fight with cancer.  I was, and still am, devastated by that because up until the day before she died I was just positive that she would make an amazing comeback and get better.  People seem to want to rush me through my grief and sometimes I feel like none of my friends really understand what I’m going through.  I know that other people have lost loved ones so I know that they understand that aspect but sometimes because of my grief I feel really alone in the world and reading books helps me with that.  Reading can take me out of the depressing, frustrating world I’m stuck in and take me somewhere beautiful where the characters go through unbelievable hardships but still get their happy ending.

One person that really helps me with my grief is my mom.  She is still dealing with the loss of her mom, my grandma, and we talk and try to cheer each other up.  I was talking to her the other night about that picture up there and I told her how sometimes when I read I feel like I’m in the world of the book  and that sometimes when I stop reading or finish a book sometimes I still feel a little stuck in that world.  It isn’t like I want to live in the book but sometimes the realities in the books are better than the one that I’m dealing with at the moment.  I hope that anyone reading this has been able to escape into the world of a book before, honestly it is one of the best things in the world.  I’m not sure what I would do without my mom and dad, or the rest of my family.  We all keep each other going when we feel down about my grandma.  I can talk to them about what I’m feeling and they GET what I’m saying.  I have one friend that I talk to a lot about my problems but he doesn’t get this with my grandma.  The other night he told me that people die and that if we expect to keep feeling bad that we’re going to still feel bad.  I get what he’s saying, I really do, but it isn’t like I asked to still feel sad and trapped by my grief, it has barely been two months!  If any of you have lost loved ones then I am sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, sorry.  I know that not everyone believes in God but I do and I pray for people, so just know that someone out there is praying for you.

I promise you that on this blog I won’t shove my faith down your throat, that isn’t my intention.  My intention is to talk about books, but if I ever feel like talking God I’ll bring Him up but I won’t be trying to force you to believe.  I listen to other people’s beliefs and opinions so I hope that all of you will do the same.

I’m sorry that most of this post today was kind of gloomy and down, I’ll try not to do that very often!  On a better note, Castle is on tonight!  I hope they save Alexis!

Have a great day everyone!




Filed under Books

2 responses to “Me

  1. catblix

    Lately I’ve been struggling with the death of a close friend. It’s really hard. I don’t feel like I can talk about it much. My friends are hurt by the loss as well. I don’t want to make them feel worse by speaking about my own grief. My family doesn’t really get it and their responses are lacking. So, if it gets really bad I talk about it with my boyfriend. He tries but I think it just makes him uncomfortable.
    Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I get it.
    People expect you to be happy and perky and when you don’t deliver…it’s like they’ve forgotten why you have reason to be unhappy.


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